I needed that. All they needed was me. I wondered why my nails had it so easy. I was so close to understanding that growth is all we have to do. These things are inevitable. We make it difficult because we choose to. My hair grew, and my heart beat without effort or understanding. These seemingly simple things understood a lot more about life than I did as a whole person. My struggle went on for years. It was far from the picturesque life I was trying to achieve. I chose to do it anyway. I think about my struggle for success, working during the day and going to school at night.
Missing my husband and my kids, I thought someday this would all get easier. When I think back on that time in my life I never wish I had worked harder. What was I expecting? An ideally located office—this is what it all came down to in the end? You feel cheated of your time, cheated by time.
Taking Care of YOU: Self-Care for Family Caregivers
Now you have to make up for it. You have to live, make the most of what you have left. So you set another goal. Stop wanting more, be grateful for today. Live in the moment. Cherish your life and the time you have in this world. If it happens, it happens. The expectation is always there because you gave it power. You save all your money so that you can retire. You live to retire.
At forty you felt cheated, at eighty you are cheated. You cheated yourself the whole way through to the end. I quit my job at forty, I worked too much and I never got the chance to live. I have a job with less stress. I also make a lot less money. Money, fancy cars, and a big house will never give back my time.
More is always better. Happiness and fulfillment are always just out of reach. Then the goal is college, then grad school. We have a family, and we live through the challenges of life, but we never stop to realize the grace in each moment.
The Myth of Joyful Parenthood – Association for Psychological Science – APS
We never dance. Gratitude for life itself is still ahead of me. Mercy Torres is a long-time entrepreneur and a self-taught web and graphic designer with a graduate degree in Government and Business and an undergraduate in Computer Science. She believes that mindset is the key to happiness and success in business and in life and she has dedicated her time to sending that message into the world at artisticdestiny. This site is not intended to provide and does not constitute medical, legal, or other professional advice. The content on Tiny Buddha is designed to support, not replace, medical or psychiatric treatment.
- The Philosophy of Law: An Exposition of the Fundamental Principles of Jurisprudence as the Science of Right (With Active Table of Contents).
- 18 Toxic Things You Need To Stop Doing If You Want To Live A Stress-Free Life!
- Salmons Kitchen?
Think Web Strategy. You missed the point, you were supposed to dance. The song is an experience. I wish I had more memories with my family. About Mercy Torres Mercy Torres is a long-time entrepreneur and a self-taught web and graphic designer with a graduate degree in Government and Business and an undergraduate in Computer Science.
More Posts. See a typo, an inaccuracy, or something offensive? Please contact us so we can fix it!
I also do one "special" thing per year that might be time consuming, e. But only 1 per year. As soon as I sign up for that one, all present and future opportunities are an automatic no Makes you think a lot before you say "yes", no? Plus, there are things that are really important to me that don't get enforced externally. Like making time to meet other women in computer science, and doing a certain amount of outreach to non-Harvard audiences.
If I'm not careful, I end up with no time for these less promoted events. And if I end up with no time for these, I end up a very bitter person. I have a quota to prevent me from accidently getting bitter. For me, that's grant reports and writing recommendations. There are also things that are really fun.
For me, that's making logos and t-shirts and hacking on my website. If I can do 1 hard thing per week, and 1 fun thing per week, then I declare victory. That was a good week, by a reasonable measure of goodness. I aim to raise kids as an equal partnership. This is a big one and I don't want to make this seem obvious -- the idea below was born after a long time of growing arguments and anger and resentment, which neither of us are eager to remember. Moving on though, we now happily tell our method to all parents.
The basic idea is simple.
We play zone-defense during the week: only one parent has childcare at a time. I do five days morning drop off am and two days evening pickup pm , my husband does three days evening pickup and no drop offs.
When you are on kid duty, all responsibilities are yours feeding, bathing, where did the gloves go, yes I understand you want to cry inconsolably right now for no reason. But all rules are yours too; the other parent has to stay clear out of it and no comments allowed. When you are off kid duty, you can schedule the time as you please, stay late at work or take a tennis class or go drinking with buddies.
No questions asked. I mostly work those days or schedule work-related social events on those evenings. This tag-team parenting also means we don't all get together as a family during the week usually. So we decided: no job related work on the weekends. No reading or writing email, no reading grants and papers, no preparing lectures, no conference calls.
Related Women Who Do Too Much: How to Stop Doing It All and Start Enjoying Your Life
Copyright 2019 - All Right Reserved